Monday, February 9, 2009

Sunday School with Schrute.

My nine month pregnant wife got a call this week from the "in charge of child care" person from our church. She informed us that it was our week to teach the 3 year old class and that she had our lesson plan ready for us to pick up. After hanging up the phone my wife informed me of the situation and that i would be flying solo on this mission because there was no way on God's green earth that she was going to help seeing that she can't put on her own socks much less watch 20 or so three year olds. SOOOOOOO....

Yesterday morning I taught the Sunday school class solo. I did receive a little help from a friend by the name of Ben Gill...thank you sir. In the midst of the madness I had a very interesting thought that made me grin...What if Dwight Schrute from the office was teaching this class, what would he do? ( new bracelet idea W.W.D.D.) This is what i came up with for starters...please help me finish the lesson...

Dwight: "Good morning little children welcome to Sunday school, my name is Mr. Schrute."

Class: "Good Morning Mr. Schrute."

D: "Today we are going to learn about a man named Ballam and his talking donkey..."

Dwight to camera in typical office side interview fashion:

"A talking donkey...completely genetically impossible...what's next Jesus riding the Easter bunny into Jerusalem...who rights this garbage! When I was a kid my father used donkeys to plow the beet fields and none of them talked...pphhssttt...rediculus."

And so the class would go on until...

Child to Dwight: "Mr Shrute?"

D to C: Yes, small brown haired child..."

C: "I have to go potty."

D: "So go..."

C: "I can't go by myself..."

Dwight to Camera:
"...pshhtt...Kids these day's...completely incompetent. I could use the bathroom by myself when I was one. Actually the Schrute males were trained in the art of bladder control. I can hold my urine for up to two weeks. Please...a camel wishes it could hold fluid like me...ppsshhhttt."


...Leave a comment and help finish the story!

4 comments:

  1. you teaching sunday school to 3 year olds sounds natural for you 2 me! but you with a 3 year old??? when did you grow up and become a MR and a dad??? Time sure has flown..

    vanessa zeches-mccormick

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  2. then terry longs little boy asked dwight to help him go pee..& when dwight told him "to go his dang self..for the love of God" he began to cry & said he was too short & needed lifted up..soooo dwight(with a horrible attitude) lifted him up & terrys little boy pee'd all over him & said "oooops..sawwwy" and dwight had mental visions of having him castrated:)
    -love u babe:) Lor

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  3. I have nothing. BUT! I'd like to know WWDD about the cat hacking up the hairball in my living room.

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  4. Class... did I ever tell you about the time I invented talking donkeys? Yeah... it was pretty sweet. So ah got thaaaat goin' for me.

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Keep it clean...