Fireproofonionoxegenlaughs...

Last night we started a new class at our church based around the movie "Fireproof". First off, all I have to say is Curt freakin Cameron...good God! I'm pretty sure that my left testy could ack better than this guy!!! Overall a very positive movie for marriage's and should be watched by all young married couples that want to shoot each other on a daily basis...

All this aside we watched the movie last night on the big screen at church which was cool because it was like having a private movie theater. One problem...Loriann and Chip in the same place watching a bad movie with all sorts of strange things going on around us equals the Grinnell's being very disruptive and obnoxious...man did we have fun! There is a guy in our church that is on an oxygen machine which sustains his very life...did you know that every few seconds one of these machines makes a very loud pssshhhhtttttt sound? It sounds like a blow of valve on an air compressor...this noise was made 1000-1500 times during the movie and it was funny every single time. Sitting just down the row from us hidden in the darkness was a man with the most annoying laugh that I have ever heard in my life...funny at first but then it brought on feelings of murderous rage by me and by my nine month preggers wife...which was VERY funny. So to whoever was laughing like a retarded orangutan...YOUR LAUGH SUCKS! Man blogging really lets of the steam...much like that guys air compressor of an oxygen machine. Lor and I were taking bets on how long the old guy would live if we pinched of the line. We didn't because we didn't want to disrupt the movie...oh wait the sucky laugh guy already did my bad. But the best part of the whole evening was my wife's pregnant onion powder omelet burp's that she kept squeaking out like no one would notice...dear God was that awful....So in conclusion Curt + Old oxygen tank man + sucky laugh guy + pregger onion burps + Chip being in a silly mood to start with equaled out to quite a fun evening in which the Grinnell's remembered how fun it was to laugh together at other people's expense...I love you sweetheart! (and your onion burp's)

Grinwell out...

Sunday School with Schrute.

My nine month pregnant wife got a call this week from the "in charge of child care" person from our church. She informed us that it was our week to teach the 3 year old class and that she had our lesson plan ready for us to pick up. After hanging up the phone my wife informed me of the situation and that i would be flying solo on this mission because there was no way on God's green earth that she was going to help seeing that she can't put on her own socks much less watch 20 or so three year olds. SOOOOOOO....

Yesterday morning I taught the Sunday school class solo. I did receive a little help from a friend by the name of Ben Gill...thank you sir. In the midst of the madness I had a very interesting thought that made me grin...What if Dwight Schrute from the office was teaching this class, what would he do? ( new bracelet idea W.W.D.D.) This is what i came up with for starters...please help me finish the lesson...

Dwight: "Good morning little children welcome to Sunday school, my name is Mr. Schrute."

Class: "Good Morning Mr. Schrute."

D: "Today we are going to learn about a man named Ballam and his talking donkey..."

Dwight to camera in typical office side interview fashion:

"A talking donkey...completely genetically impossible...what's next Jesus riding the Easter bunny into Jerusalem...who rights this garbage! When I was a kid my father used donkeys to plow the beet fields and none of them talked...pphhssttt...rediculus."

And so the class would go on until...

Child to Dwight: "Mr Shrute?"

D to C: Yes, small brown haired child..."

C: "I have to go potty."

D: "So go..."

C: "I can't go by myself..."

Dwight to Camera:
"...pshhtt...Kids these day's...completely incompetent. I could use the bathroom by myself when I was one. Actually the Schrute males were trained in the art of bladder control. I can hold my urine for up to two weeks. Please...a camel wishes it could hold fluid like me...ppsshhhttt."


...Leave a comment and help finish the story!

This made me grin...I will write somthing later it's early!

Thanks Mister...got a good grin outa this one...



1.YOUR REAL NAME:
Charles Parker Grinnell

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother and father's middle names)
Eveyln Gregory

3.NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
William Parker

4.STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Grich

5.DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Black zebra

6.SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, town where you were born)
Parker Alexander

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink, and "The" to the beginning.
The Baby Blue Chocolate Milk

8. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of first name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Chll

9. STREET NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Moose Tracks Oreo

10. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name)
Susie South Main (Adia's invisible catdog)

11. PORN NAME: (first pet name, street you grew up on)
Newcomb Church

12. GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Chiizzle (My real hip-hop name is actually THE FAT MARSH MELLOW)

13. IRAQI NAME: ( second letter of your first name, third letter of your last name, first 2 letters of your middle name, last 2 letters of your first name then last 3 letters of your last name)
Hipaesell

14. GOTH NAME: (black and then name of one of your pets)
Black Wicket

15. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy
Ed Hardy Pink Reeses

Little red wagon...

I have a desk job for the first time in my life, and this lends itself to much idle time throughout the day. To my left and behind me I have two very large picture windows which overlook a construction site in which they are building an addition onto a Kroger supermarket. Over the course of the day dozens of trucks and workers buzz around the site, building, moving large object and machines and generally making all sorts of racket as they shuffle back and forth in front of my window.

This morning out of the corner of my eye I caught the most spectacular sight. Much to my amazement I saw a rather large man adorned in full winter construction regalia perched atop a mini-track hoe. For those of you that do not know what that is, it is a miniature version of its counterpart the full sized track-hoe which is quite a marvelous piece of machinery. However, the miniature version is a rather pathetic display of metal and looks more like a tonka toy on steroids than a useful piece of equipment. Any man looks rather silly sitting on one but add an extra 200-300 pounds into the equation and you have a real show on your hands...but my friends this was not the best part. This gentleman had the tiny machine wound out at full throttle which left him running at a speed of about 4-5 miles per hour as his chariot screamed in pain beneath him. Much to my amazement he had a small red wagon in tow, and not any red wagon, a radio flyer! This was not a construction cart or work type wagon with the inflatable wheels...this was a real live Radio Flyer and it was connected to the device with a bungee chord. The little red wagon was oozing with plumbing fittings and elbows and some were being left behind as he clamored along hitting bumps and potholes in the road which resulted in the wagon slamming into the back of the machine.

And then it dawned on me that this same mobile circus would have to maneuver down a rather steep hill at the end of the road to my left. I thought for sure that he would somehow avoid this hill and stop at the top of it, but no! On he forged and as he started down the hill so did his little red wagon and as it slammed for the final time into the back of his speed racer it flipped over spilling it's contents onto the icy ground below. Mr. Construction worker then dismounted and began to pick up the spilled contents of his wagon but slipped on the ice and down he went...arse over tea kettle. I thought about going outside and offering my services but I stoped myself at my cozy office door because if I was in his position I would want to keep what had happened all to myself. I continued to watch him pick up all the wagons contents and walk slowly down to the bottom of the hill with his radio flyer in tow...Success! The parts had been delivered to the site without any witnesses...

I went out to the main desk to tell the guys at the shop what had happened but soon realized that the laugh train had passed their windows, and had been witnessed by them as well. Raucous laughter commenced! So thank you Mr. Construction worker for giving me a grin at your expense and next time...use a truck!

Grinwell...grin often.